i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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