sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
