so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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