in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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