I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
