I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
