weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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