Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
