Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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