I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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