I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
