If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
