The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dicks are not precious.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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