She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
