return my video game
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
