God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
