whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
