Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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