watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
