Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
