Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
