I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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