hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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