i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
