We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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