Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
