just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
