I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
