remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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