He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
