woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
