No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My vagina is officially offended.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
