I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
