Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
