I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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