Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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