I'm jealous of your bromance
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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