Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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