doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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