i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I forget how to act sober
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
