whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
