I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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