We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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