I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm at about main and main street
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
