Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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