I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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