Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
