She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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