you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Randomize
