hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize