My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
