I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize