I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
