Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
