After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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