She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
