the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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